Neuro Linguistic Programming

'Matching' and 'mismatching'

Picture the scene. Wendy, Simon and Holly are at a meeting to discuss next year's budget proposals. Wendy has just presented her case for extra funds to the other two. Holly acknowledges the points Wendy has made and goes on to reinforce her case by giving further reasons why it would be a good idea. Holly has a reputation for seeing the best in people and has lots of friends in the office. Simon steps in and points out two or three disadvantages. He rarely agrees with anyone on the team, which doesn't make him as popular. One view of this might be that Simon rained on Wendy's parade and another that he could have saved the company from making an expensive mistake.

Understanding matching and mismatching patterns

People have two ways of understanding external information. We either notice how things are different or how they are the same. Sorting for similarities between things is called Matching; sorting for differences is known as mismatching.

When people match they listen for things they have experience of and make a connection between what they hear someone saying and what they know. They focus on what works and what has been achieved. They tend