Neuro Linguistic Programming

Self or 'other

Dan and Harry couldn't be more different. When you walk in the office where they both work Dan immediately looks up and makes eye contact, smiles and gives his full attention to whoever is speaking. Harry appears self-absorbed and only seems to be interested in things that affect him. He speaks when he's spoken to and doesn't join in with the office banter. Harry rarely offers to give other people a hand when they're busy whereas Dan will drop all of his own work to help out.

Understanding self and other

The 'self and 'other' patterns reflect how much we instinctively notice and respond to other people. When it comes to recruiting people for a job this is valuable information to have especially if the role involves dealing with customers. People with a self pattern respond to others on the basis of what they have to say and don't appear to be aware of non-verbal communication. This makes it difficult for them to build and maintain rapport. They can appear self-absorbed and sometimes find it difficult to maintain eye contact. If you drop something they're unlikely to bend down and pick it up for you. Rodger Bailey's research suggests that