A Few Meta Programs, Part 2
'Internal' and 'external'
Have you ever noticed that some people have a need for feedback to guide them on the best course of action to take while others rely on their own judgement? Take the following two individuals. When Jodie sings she knows she's performed well by the way she feels inside, and when people start to clap it merely confirms for her what she instinctively knows already. She appears self-assured but can be difficult to handle sometimes because she tends to act as if she has all the right answers. Caitlyn needs to hear the applause from the audience before she's convinced about the success of her performance. She's really open to feedback from her coach and tends to rely on him to advise her of the best songs to choose.
Understanding internal and external patterns
This difference in approaches is all about where the locus of control lies. This can either be within the individual (internal) or it can arise from an external source.
People with an internal pattern use their inner feelings as their main way of evaluating success. They know inside when they've done well and don't need other people to tell them. When taken to extreme this means they don't care what other people think. They seek out information from external sources and then come to their own conclusions. If feedback doesn't fit with their sense of the situation they'll reject it. They don't like being told what to do.
Those with an external pattern seek evidence to confirm their achievements from an outside source, such as feedback from another person or research data. They need external information to be able to assess properly how they've performed and want others to let them know how they've done. They often think of external information as providing direction and may even appear lost without it.
Communicating with people who have an internal or external pattern
To communicate effectively with someone who has an internal pattern start by asking for their opinion and make it clear they have a choice in how to respond. Use phrases like 'it's up to you' or ask them for their opinion. To influence someone with an external pattern let them know what you recommend as the best course of action. Ideally find research from experts to back up your argument.